outlook express and messenger problems

I occaisionally like to use msnmessenger, but when I'm not directly using
it, I like it to remain off as it's a pain in the ass when I'm trying to do
things and people keep wanting to chit chat. Anyways, I selected the option
in my windows xp config so msnmessenger doesn't start at start up, also
selected the option in in messenger so it won't start when I turn on
windows, but everytime I open outlook express messenger starts up and I
can't seem to stop it. I try to turn it off and messenger says "outlook
express can't be shutdown with outlook open as the program is relying on it"
which is really BS because I used outlook for years without having messenger
and it worked just fine. How do I prevent messenger from starting up when I
open outlook express then?? I'd like to keep messenger but if I have to I'll
get rid of it happilly if I can't prevent from starting except when I want
it to..

Help??

zigzag