My Best Friend (homework for Sue Hungerford's meeting on 13/03/08)

MY BEST FRIEND

"Come up and see me soon", she says on the phone. I imagine her in her
wheelchair near her telephone in that little shack-like house in Glen Innes.

"Yes, I'll try to visit you this month" I reply. I put my phone down and
start planning the trip from Tauranga. It's always good to spend time with
her, but I'll need to find someone to share the journey. I haven't the
confidence to drive to Auckland alone.

I've known Bernice for over 15 years. I can't even recall how we met. Our
backgrounds are very different: she was in the Hell's Angels gang, riding
motorbikes and experimenting with drugs because she knew no better. I 've
never even touched marihuana and only drank too much once, during my mixed
up, without-God days - at a party, because I was feeling lonely. I ordered a
taxi and went home, I recall.

I was brought up in Europe and we had servants in Italy. Fortunately, I'm
not a snob by any means, therefore I can easily communicate and feel close,
even spiritually with my friend, who's never had a servant! Believe it or
not, she's a valuable intercessor, probably more effective than I am.

Bernice finds it hard to spell properly, but she's still my best friend.
She hardly ever writes to anyone and dislikes filling in forms, as she's not
too sure how to put something together. But when it comes to making someone
who's feeling low welcome, she gets 100% from me. You may find yourself
sleeping on a hard camping bed in her kitchen which was found under much
bric-a-brac in her storage room.

She married just for security and he's now an alcoholic in another suburb.
I married after 39 years searching for the Mister Right the Lord had
organized for me, a relationship which lasted for 32 years.

When we lived in Auckland, Bernice knew about my difficulties and helped me
by offering her Mission Bay home to me, as a break from my family's
tensions. I could stay there when things got too much in Glendene, West
Auckland - the house we had there for seven years before we moved to Bay of
Plenty. Luckily, my longsuffering husband let me have these escapades to
preserve my sanity.

My daughter was still at High School and unfortunately mixing with a
somewhat wild group of girls. I never met them but heard enough about their
behaviour. Their influence upset me, as I discerned Cherisse was a
sensitive, often teased girl, who lacked self-esteem. She seemed to have no
other friends but them. The others teased her and wouldn't sit next to her.
Through one of these wayward girls a handsome Samoan was introduced to my
daughter and this resulted in her losing her precious virginity in our own
home, believe it or not.
I had heard a suspicious thump type of noise during one night coming from
Cherisse's bedroom, which was close to ours. I discovered later that the
young Samoan man - the culprit - had escaped before dawn through her window.
That was the thump I had heard.
The large mark on the bottom sheet, seem by me the next day, was an
unpleasant proof of what had happened before he disappeared.

Bernice summed this drama up with the words "She's away with the fairies"
and I tended to agree with her, naturally with much sadness.

Bernice has a son who is extremely obese and doesn't help her around the
house much. He loves his food and can eat a chicken all by himself,
Unfortunately, he hardly eer washes his dishes up. He resembles the Italian
policeman whom she fell in love with during a holiday in Australia - the
father of the boy, who died later. So she uses the soft tough with her son
and he watched TV most of the day, not selectively.

What makes Bernice a special friend? It is hard to explain. I think the
best way I can put it is that she makes you feel at home regardless of what
is and has happened. She believes God will sort it all out in His time and
in His own way. So she makes you a cup of tea and changes the subject. A
complex mixed salad, one of her favourites, is placed on the crowded kitchen
table with grated cheese and other types of food. Life becomes more
bearable after a few mouthfuls and one's spirit soars up into a brighter
cloud of optimism.

Bernice loves animals. She seems to attract stray kittens and their mums.
You can count yourself very lucky if you don't trip up on one of them
rushing through the place. Most sleep in one of her bedrooms and if you
stay the night a frisky one might quite easily wake you up as it jumps onto
your bed from the nearby open window. If you leave without a flea bite, you
are very fortunate.

Despite all these oddities, Bernice is an unusual but special friend for me.
Nothing upsets her and her untidy but often full kitchen cupboards display
her unquestioned hospitality. She is part Maori and this shows in her happy
go lucky personality.

When I left Auckland to live in Tauranga with Brian it was not easy to know
I would not have her understanding and colourful company No more stays in
the Mission Bay little house on the hill not far from the sea. I had to
face unknown and unfamiliar people and places further down south, in elegant
Bay of Plenty.

I plan to offer her a holiday here in Judea, when we can laugh again and
share new experiences. Because of her severe sugar diabetes she now lives
with half a leg. Always active before, she cried about this only once, but
not again. You see, my friend is a brave one, too.